The Law Of Priority: Marriage Matters.TV

Show Transcripts unedited:

hi there I’m Scott Silverii and this is

my wife Leah and we’re with marriage

matters and we thank you for joining us

here today we’ve got a really great

episode and now we’re gonna get into the

four foundational laws of marriage but

before we start that we like to say we’d

like to do a little a little

housekeeping housekeeping so uh so Leah

what do what do we have on the agenda if

you’re new to joining us we’re gonna

post each of these messages they’ll be

on our website at marriage matters you

call me drink of water

got me from a love cup uh-huh Miss

Manners that mean and who and they lost

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you’re watching this but um so make sure

you share like this like our page if you

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that way you get them every time that we

have an episode come up and then check

us out at the website and then this

course that we’re doing right now is

called marriage on the rock and we’re

certified facilitators of this course

and so we’re gonna take you through from

beginning to end

if you missed a couple of episodes go

back there there you can watch them and

so your you won’t miss anything in

addition to being posted on Facebook

they’re on our on our website it’s

marriage marriage matters that mean and

then also they’re on YouTube right so

they’re kind of everywhere so it’s kind

of hard to to not see them but uh and

and they don’t have to go in

chronological order

that’s why can they address me this

morning enough so that they don’t they

don’t have to be in chronological order

but but they do kind of move through

each episode so so yeah so you go to the

website and also at the website is it’s

free access it’s our gift to you the

marriage on the rock course so uh I mean

that’s our gift to you yeah so if you’re

so inclined it looked it saved our

marriage yeah it’s it’s I mean it’s been

used by millions of couples and and it’s

the real deal it’s taught by by Jimmy

Evans our pastor and through marriage

today mm-hmm so so we want to offer that

gift to you because it was it was such a

blessing us and how could we how

we not share what would helped us so

much

so as we always we always say we like to

think we’re in the business of of Prayer

the if you have any prayer requests on

our website you can go there there’s a

tab and it says prayers and they’re

totally confidential and they come

straight to Lee and myself we don’t we

don’t have a prayer team at this point

right but we handle everything

personally so if it’s submitted through

the website absolutely confidential or

in the comments below you put your

prayer requests in and and either way

they’re absolutely honored and we and we

pray over these and we’re and we’re

blessed and we’re fortunate to do that

so we do we encourage you to to you know

lead prayers and request prayer and and

then uh and look I mean if it you know

the we always believe in the tangibility

of specific results so you know

sometimes like all I need you to pray

for special intentions well I don’t know

what your intentions are you know I mean

are you intending to rob a bank right

and you want it to go well you know

gonna be honest I mean you know yeah

well you know you talk about going to

the Creator to the Father right and and

to go there with with hey so-and-so

wants things that go well you know we

believe in specificity and we’re not

trying to get your business right we’re

just want to we want to make sure that

that you’re covered in prayer and we’re

more than than blessed to be able to do

that so speaking of Prayer

we want to start I want to start this

episode like we do in prayer and Leah’s

Lidge jumped up and said I’m doing it

that’s a prayer warrior okay Heavenly

Father thank you so much thank you so

much for the people watching and I just

pray that it’s but their marriages grow

stronger every day and and for that

marriage these are suffering that you

just put a healing hand on them and that

you you just just work in their lives

and then their marriages and you know

just I just pray for those couples that

that are hurting and maybe separated and

you know you never know know what’s

going on and in a marriage and for those

that are drifting apart or those

there’s been an affair where those that

have just been abandonment or hurt or I

just there’s a there’s a whole list of

things where we can just just hurt each

other and and lord I just pray that you

put your healing hands on every marriage

out there and that that through you that

these marriages start to heal and

families become whole and we pray that

you use us however you need to use us

that this this ministry that this that

this subject and they the class that

we’re teaching with the marriage on the

rock we pray that that you just just

guide people and bring people to us and

and that you use us to work through them

and we just pray all these things in

your name Lord Jesus name Amen all right

amen

so we want to jump into it and of course

we always talk about challenging each

other and then and uh and it’s good it’s

good to be challenged you know and we

want to challenge you when it when it

comes down to participating in this

program are these episodes and there’s

three things that we ask and because you

know what when you’re talking about

marriage it can get they can get tough I

mean what more personable personal is

their topic than marriage so you know

the first thing is and I’m gonna mix it

up as is to be committed right you know

and and if you and your spouse are

committed to God first and then each

other your marriage can survive anything

and become literally the marriage of

your dreams yes and second we want you

to be bold these discussions and any

questions that we ask they’re meant to

challenge you on important issues and

the truth is there’s a lot of couples

they stay away from the hard issues and

they just kind of hide it under the rug

or they glide through so we want you to

be bold we want you to talk and

communicate with each other right and

the third is to stay focused you know

it’s easy to get fired up on one day –

now I’m gonna save my marriage I’m gonna

start praying for my spouse and for our

kids and then by day two your focus on

something else stay focused and but

focus

what you can do okay you know some of

the discussions that we’re going to put

there they may present an opportunity to

be critical of your spouse and and then

there’s going to be times when you can

lovely say how you feel about important

issues but the key to achieving intimacy

is a willingness to focus on what you

can do yourself and it’s kind of you

know and it is and and Leah said it

before word and we do we’ve experienced

it but you know from the role of a wife

and it’s its biblical standards that you

know a pray and wife can change her

husband’s behavior and and look on I’m

you know testimony to that I mean you

know we she’s prayed and and uh and

things I didn’t even not even know she

was praying about then I’m like you know

like I said I really want to talk to you

about this about this that’s been on my

heart I’m even know where it came from

and then we’ll discuss it you know and

then and then sometimes she does and

probably other times she does and she’s

like you know I was praying for that you

know God’s answered that prayer and and

listen and you can you but you’ve got to

go to God with sincerity and and and you

know it says God will give you the

desires of your heart and a lot of times

that’s mistaken to think well he’s like

a Santa Claus or a genie you know

desires in my heart I want a new car I

wanted this that’s not what he’s talking

about he would put the desires in your

heart if for me I was I was singles

divorced almost 20 years never ever

would have imagined being married and

then God put the desire to be married in

my heart and and it started to grow it

as sort of the fostering and then I

started to become comfortable with the

idea and I knew God was gonna bring me a

wife and but but had I decided you know

what I got nothing to do I need to get

hitched it would have failed like – like

the last marriage I tried you know so so

God will give you those desires and you

know what we talk about we’re gonna

reach over and plug this up and you know

it’s it’s all based on prayer and

something that Lee and I really we felt

strong about is we each we prayed about

it and we each sat down and we wrote 31

days of Prayer and I did the mince and

Leah did the women’s

I did and you know we prayed over every

one of those prayers

there’s Bible verses to go with them

there’s questions there are challenging

questions at the end of each day and we

really want you to dig deep you know

this is a great the beginning of the

years the great great time was start a

prayer challenge 31 days and if you’re

not used to having a relationship with

God if it’s something that that you’re

new to this can be a great facilitator

you know to help you get started on that

that prayer journey and then if you’re

and if you do have a relationship with

God if you’re used to that that prayer

then this can help just push you a step

even further and and really digging deep

in the questions and and knowing with

specificity what to pray for right no

you know a lot of times we um

were one of the not the problems but the

challenges is that you know when you

when you come to know Christ and it’s

kind of like okay now what right you

know are like for four men one of the

reasons that it’s hard for men to pray

with their lives is as you know number

one we we don’t sound like Billy Graham

you know so we’re embarrassed because we

don’t speak eloquently and and we don’t

sound or we don’t sound religious you

know so so we don’t want to we don’t

want to open our mouths and sound simple

which that’s what God wants he wants you

to come to him like a child and then the

other thing is a lot of times you just

don’t know what to say you know what’s

on your heart it’s got to reconcile with

what’s on your head and then it’s got to

turn in to what’s spoken from your mouth

and and that’s a three part plug and it

doesn’t always connect in the way you

wanted to so the beauty of a devotional

specifically for men specifically for

women is that you you can read through

and then there’s quite where it says

write your own prayer you know and it is

it is a it’s a guy it’s a facilitator

it’s not it’s not we didn’t write it to

take the place of your own prayers and

your own desire but uh but it really is

it’s very very helpful and I’ve always

I’ve always enjoyed reading other you

know prayer broad devotional sustained

oh we’ve talked a lot like a last couple

of episodes about personal relationship

with Jesus and you know there are people

in that busy

we’re whatever they’re going through is

so painful that they do not have the

words to speak not even to God you know

I mean I’ve been there I know you’ve

been there you know and and the great

thing about about prayer is you know

what there’s power in the name of Jesus

and you know there’s been many a prayer

but the name of Jesus was the only thing

that I could pray didn’t speak it you

know and but through the power in the

name of Jesus you know I was able

eventually to pray what I needed to pray

to really you know right right

when you can say nothing else just speak

one name right and that’s really that’s

all that’s all there is you know and you

know when we and we talking about crying

out and making the effort through prayer

or calling out or talking to God or

pursuing and seeking you know that’s one

of our bottom lines for today is you

know again we keep saying there is no

such there’s no such thing as a perfect

marriage there’s no such thing as a

perfect marriage listen God created the

first marriage with with he Adam and Eve

and that got corrupted because of sin

because of temptation because of

disobedience so you know it takes work

to get that restoration but we can

guarantee you that you you get out of it

what you put into it right you know and

you know look I’ll confess I mean as a

man you know a lot of times guys you

know what I was divorced many years ago

you get married and then marriage is

just like something you do that’s like

okay I’m married it’s not something that

I’ve worked at it’s not something that I

I protect and I guarded I pursued and

the result was divorce and and you know

and then you know we slipped into that

in about our first year we were so busy

personally and we’re like okay we’re

married now let’s actually we didn’t

even take a honeymoon

what do we do our wedding night kind of

right in the car and went home

everyone in car and we went home and

went back to work and then we saw our

pastor in Louisiana Joshua also and he’s

like hey what do you got we saw on the

Sunday at church he’s like

and what are you guys doing for your

honeymoon we’re just nothing we’re we

don’t have any time we’re going to work

and he’s like listen you celebrate you

celebrate your marriage it’s got to be

the priority and we did and we totally

shifted it look thank God that we did

yeah you know but uh but that is you’re

going to get out of it what you put into

it just a we talk about just marriage in

society now American society you know

people put so little value on marriage

we’re talking about the priority of

marriage today

and people put so little value on

marriage and you know in 1983

I think it’s eighty-three percent of

adult Americans were married and in 2018

now less than 50 percent of adult

Americans are married and it’s just

because there’s not a priority on

marriage there’s such a hopelessness in

marriage now like people look at it it’s

not it doesn’t mean anything to them you

know and we’re gonna talk about I know

we have something coming up on contracts

and covenants you know a contract versus

in covenant but you know marriage is a

holy spiritual union you know the shame

is that the the desire God said it is

not good for man to be alone yeah and

that goes from a minute women so God

said that it is not good we were not

created to be alone so you have that

that God put that seed of desire in your

spirit to not be alone to be with

someone else you know so for that 83%

who went down to 50% you know that that

lack of I’m not a math major but around

33% you know reduction those people

still have a heavy desire right to be

connected with somebody else and and but

they don’t they don’t pursue it because

why well you know 50% of people who

marry are going to divorce so why would

you even pursue that so to me that the

shame though the hurtfulness is you’ve

got that desire you know but you don’t

but the cynicism keeps you from pursue

pursuing a marriage you know a guy based

married looks like people go into

relationships any relationship as if

it’s disposable you know it’s a

disposable commodity people are

disposable commodities now you know

you’re right that sounds horrible but

actually that’s you know and and you

know I’m sure later and one of the other

lessons we’re gonna talk about soul ties

yeah

and you know and how important and

detrimental soul ties can be you know to

your marriage when you finally do get

married just all these disposable

relationships you know and things like

that

but you know it’s really a culture shift

you’ve seen how we as a society have

changed just the priority of marriage

and when the priority of marriage shifts

I mean you can see the direct

correlation the priority of God know and

priority of marriage you know we’ve

taken him out of everything we’re taking

him out of school we’ve taken him out of

the courts we’ve taken him out of life

so we’ve taken him out of church a lot

of places yeah so so yeah definitely

he’s gonna be he’s gonna find his way

out of marriage and but but you know

again I just I really do I think it’s I

think it’s you know very unfortunate

that you know that you still have the

sincere desire to connect to be married

but we were in a relationship right but

because of the cynicism and the

skepticism and and because God’s been

taken out of it you know so it’s kind of

like having a beautiful car and you’re

in your garage with with no gasoline

there’s no fuel there’s no God to get it

cranked and get it going so how do we

protect

I think I’m shaken how do we protect our

marriage how do we guard you know and

and there’s four foundational walls for

marriage and they are I’m gonna quiz you

yeah

so the law of priority which is what

we’re going to be talking about today

right I have a law of pursuit the law of

possession and the law of purity no

probably say that one more time for

people if they’re not on a slide

priority pursuit possession purity

that’s good that’s a lot of a lot of

peace that’s a lot of big words so today

we’re talking about the law of priority

so I wasn’t going to do good on a quiz

so I actually typed them out so first I

want to share two scriptures

that that talked about the importance of

priority and the first is from Genesis

is to 24 25 I said this is why man

leaves his father and mother and is

united to his wife and the two become

one flesh and you know that’s the

priority I mean how many people and and

maybe we’re all guilty of it you know is

you know you don’t want to leave mama

you know you don’t leave mama and and

well you know the sisters get involved

and and they don’t really like the wife

you know and or maybe the brothers are

you know there they pickle them on their

new sister-in-law and and you still got

that bet longing just stay with Mama and

Daddy or when things go bad right here

do you run back to where do you run back

to all right let me tell you like you

know we’ve heard people say a good

parent good parents in a strong marriage

when they have a child run back to him

will tell them to go back yeah you know

when they’re having trouble in their

marriage because that is your family now

that is your priority and it but it’s

not looked at it like that like you said

it’s a temporary disposable commodity

right and you know we look we tell our

kids all the time

parenting our job our kids are a

temporary assignment yeah you know when

they get to have age they’re out it’s

our job to raise them to be able to go

out and be independent and part of

raising them is given that that

Christian foundation and you know and we

would mentor them up to the point of of

marriage the book that Jimmy Evans that

we gave the girls the right one the

right one and so you know it’s things

like that is provide them with the

information but we’re talking about your

marriage being the priority the law

priority and and and you know and Adam

and Eve open to the point of the Apple

the forbidden fruit that was right you

leave your mother and father and cleave

to your wife because that’s your family

now your mom and dad god bless them you

know your honor I mean that you know but

but you can’t keep running home to mama

right when things go wrong and that’s

the thing too you know like so many

especially young couples I think

and women I think are probably

specifically guilty of this mm-hmm I

agree you know like you know you and I

have a fight mm-hmm and I go drag all

our business to my mom oh yeah you know

what I forgive you doesn’t mean that she

forgives you right you know she’s still

carrying you’re right carrying that with

her you know that animosity or that

anger or whatever let me throw this one

at you talking about keeping your

priority to to you and your spouse is

what else where else are they run into

other than mama when they got it when

they got a complaint with their spouse

Facebook they’re running a Facebook and

their social media and it’s not and

everybody jumps in there and man let me

I mean listen you know your

mother-in-law may forget one day maybe

but listen that’s stuff on social media

that stuff never goes wait right you

know and how do you think it makes your

spouse feel you know if you have any any

desire for reconciliation and you got

all this junk posted on Facebook you

know I mean how does it make you look

not you of me but somebody who does it

so let your spouse be the most important

person gods number one your spouse isn’t

number two right but there should be no

other person on this earth who’s more

important than your spouse not even your

kids right let’s say we make sure we

tell our kids y’all are number three

right yeah I mean we love you but it’s

god it’s it’s us and it’s you yeah so

that’s how important part is and then

the other verse that we that we like to

reference I’m sorry just through that

that’s right you did exodus 34:14

for thou shalt worship worship no other

God for the Lord whose name is jealous

is a jealous God and actually just read

a whole series about this and I think

it’s fantastic because you know you

forget you know God has so many names in

the Bible but jealous is one of them

yeah

and we’re talking about legitimate

protective jealousy commit not like

scratching a key downside of your call

right but in a marriage you know there

is healthy jealous jealous and you know

and it’s it’s okay you should be to it

because the

is this is it right you know we’re it

and very protective that’s the priority

and you know and you should never you

know we deal with with couples like that

to where where one is made to feel

jealous all the time that’s not healthy

no no we’re talking in a legitimate

jealousy in the context from Exodus

where where it is you know it’s not it’s

not because there’s lack of security

right you know we talked about that

before where you know when you wouldn’t

you speak with two women they speak in a

language of security right for Leah it’s

the most important thing I can do is to

make sure she feels secure secure in our

physical home secure in our surroundings

secure in our marriage you know that’s

the sick that’s what means a lot to her

you know for men we we need through

Specht and you knows what he needs to

earn respect you know well if that’s

your spouse and you don’t respect them

there’s an issue and the issue starts

with you don’t have a personal

relationship with god but respect your

husband to the women out there respect

your husband whether he deserves it or

not you learn every day because that

goes back to the Bible verse we’re

talking about change you can change your

husband by changing your behavior right

and and you know and if he’s and if he’s

not someone respectable pray him up you

know be be the Azer you know be the

helper the rescuer do miraculous things

but don’t throw them under the bus

but but so back to the point of jealousy

is that’s the priority of marriage you

know in Genesis you know the man will

leave his mother and father and your

cleave to his wife and then you know the

example of God saying you know there

would be no other God listen I’m jealous

and we’re not talking about again we’re

not talking about somebody stalking you

and running a key down the side of your

car this is a legitimate there is

healthiness in jealousy yeah but I mean

it’s a I mean it’s the reason that you

wear wedding rings it’s the reason that

we can go places together like and it’s

a claiming you know you’re mine and

you’re mine alone you know and I’m yours

and and that is that’s priority you know

and you know I think we can but you know

like I I know the unhealthy jealousy you

know and that’s not a place you ever

want to be know what for a woman I mean

that there’s no security in unhealthy

jealousy right and again for women

security is one of the most important

things that they can have by the way I’m

gonna do you know why that that you wear

the wedding ring on this finger

why do you know no tell me

teach me do you all know I hope you know

the answer and I’m just asking random

punch whistle to somebody this is if I’m

not Chris taking this is the only finger

where the vein runs all the way to the

heart and if there’s like a first-year

medical student and and you know and and

I’m wrong just don’t comment but it

sounded really good and I’m loving what

it is so let’s go back to the law

priority yes okay

those those are the keys and unless it

is marriage is designed to operate as a

top priority you can’t just the way we

treated it when we first got married was

we were business partners first and

probably friends second and then married

people like third right oh and then our

kids parents after that maybe the kids

were pushed up I’m really always focus

on the kids to say like on the priority

list like I felt that was the least

priority yeah like as a wife I felt like

I was at the bottom of the list and so

in like and I don’t know where you you

felt you were in but you know I think it

was just still trying to find that

position with God you know to to find a

relationship with God at that point but

it’s like that you know that’s where

where I was and I’m telling you like if

if your spouse is not right a second

after God don’t put him in that place

you know I mean that’s this is supposed

to be the person that loves you the most

in the world besides God and don’t ever

you know you do don’t do that to your

spouse don’t put them in a position to

where they feel like the person that’s

supposed to love them in the

the most in the world you know they

might be 10th or 11th of importance as

far as love goes you know that’s it’s

not not a good thing to do to your

spouse know and look and if and if your

marriage is not your top priority then

it’s not gonna last you know I mean if

you want it to be important treat it

like it’s important and treating like

it’s important is is public affirmation

not necessarily public what does it go

upcoming a PDA yeah yeah PD I’m not

talking PDA I’m talking about public

affirmation if you’re with your girls at

a lunch man don’t knock your husband

down you know bring him up or just be

quiet

you know guys you know oh man you know

and you know a lot of times with guys

they don’t even talk about their spouses

but they’re talking about oh look at her

look at that you know by doing that

you’re disrespecting your wife you know

and those little seeds are being planted

in your friends minds and and it makes

an effect you know so if you want it to

be important treat it like it’s

important you know we we touched on

legitimate jealousy and and you really

do your wife your husband like I said

sometimes we’ll joke about it I’m like

all right you know you know you get a

little too cocky and she’s like I yeah I

deserve to be cocky you’re my husband I

know you love me I got no worries you

know and you know and should be cocky

you know safety net

that’s a good anything I mean I’m never

like disrespect for anything but like

there should be nothing that comes

across my heart that I shouldn’t be able

to share with you you know and that

freedom to share it with you otherwise

who are you gonna you gonna shoot me you

go back to mama no right right off the

bat says don’t do that and we you know

Mama’s sister your friends whatever you

know you know we’re just taking you know

some of the notes we jot it down it’s

just you know I mean and it’s true after

a couple this is a couple of years

probably after a couple months you know

men they get back settled into their

career and women focus on the home and

the kids and you know these were good

work is good family is good but you know

that’s you can’t allow marriage to just

be become something you do right it’s

got to be who you are it’s got to be

what you strive it has got to be the

most important thing in your and your in

your life and you know I’ll tell you we

did we went on a we stay involved with

with XO XO marriage conference XO cruise

and it is presented by marriage today

and and we wrote a cruise and it was all

it was couples from everywhere and it

for a guy it’s it’s different because

guys don’t think in terms of like

celebrating marriage it’s like yeah we

cool your marriage you know we met yeah

that’s my man my ring you know you don’t

think of it in terms of celebrating it

and when you get on this around these

other people it doesn’t have to be a

cruise there’s a lot of workshops and

there’s a lot of marriage weekend to

remember there’s a lot of marriage

conferences and like we love going to

marriage conferences and when you tell

somebody oh yeah we went to a marriage

conference so like what’s going on oh

okay yeah I know it we’re gonna laughs

it’s like no man like people go to two

writing conferences and exercise

conferences and and and I mean lightbulb

conferences why can’t you go to a

marriage conference it’s a celebrate

marriage so for a guy it’s nice to be

around other men and that becomes your

peer group right you know look we pray

we pray for married couples for married

Mentors

you know and that’s where we learned you

know and then you know we were paying it

forward because you know we want to

mentor be mentors or other to other

couples so let it be your priority

celebrate like Josh like our pastor said

Josh go also celebrate your marriage

celebrate it so I’m gonna celebrate

later with ice cream mm-hmm we’re

fasting okay all right where are we we

want to talk let’s talk about how to

establish and maintain the right

priorities in your marriage and I got a

little slide for that one day we’re

gonna buy out we’re gonna get a mouse

yeah cursor me

so these are the ways that you prove

listen it’s easy to say well you know

I’m gonna refocus you know maybe there

was an affair and then there’s some

restoration work to be done or or maybe

you just grew apart you know look we get

so many emails from people that say you

know we have grown apart where we’re not

where we want to be you know we don’t

want a divorce but we just don’t want to

be together right you know right how do

you prove if you’re seeking restoration

how do you prove that your marriage is a

priority

well that’s the thing it’s like your

words mean nothing if your actions don’t

follow hmm

so I mean you you have to show you know

that your marriage is priority I can’t

just tell your spouse over and over

again then think you like being married

to them I’m actually they’re gonna stop

believing you you know you’re right it’s

a whole you know you’re important but I

got to go right okay I got something to

do right so so you’re gonna go hang with

the guy you’re right so the first thing

is it’s the first way to prove that

marriage is a priority is sacrifice and

that’s simply listen I will give this up

for you right you know I will give this

up for you and you know and and it’s and

it’s it doesn’t have to be a big grand

gesture you know I’ll give up oxygen I’m

gonna breathe your love that will you

won’t last maybe seven seconds you know

give up your work things like that I’m

gonna give up my job my employment maybe

give up staying at the office till 8

o’clock and come on my 5:00 when you

don’t have to you know that’s right no

let’s give up watching TV you know

Taylor you know until you go to bed I

mean it’s whatever it’s got to be some

type of sacrificial offer right to show

your spouse listen you’re more important

than reruns of late-night television you

know and listen what’s your spouse going

to do they’ll either go do their own

thing or or they’ll sit there with you

in silence but misery

I mean silent misery is just as is sad

you know other than the sacrifice you

know time yeah it’s huge you know we

always talked about you know we said

we’re going to make the time it’s C well

if I could find the time to do this no I

mean you’re not gonna find there’s only

24 hours in a day right

always only 24 well like yeah you’re

like one of your love languages is

quality time mm-hmm you know and so like

that’s the best way to to show you that

you’re loved you know so I spend in time

with you and you know so if you have a

spouse that quality time is their love

language you know basically when you

don’t spend time with them what you’re

telling them is they that you know you

don’t have that that kind of love for

them that you’re not don’t worry am as a

priority right the next thing is energy

and it says I will meet your needs and

it’s whatever those needs are you know I

mean it could be sexual needs it can be

physical fitness you know where maybe

you know to return to some state of

vigor or a hobby or something like that

you know if someone is so passionate

about something you know it’s you know

it’s wonderful to have a passion a dream

a desire and then it’s even more

wonderful to have a spouse that look you

know you may love painting and I can’t

touch a brush but I can show you that

listen I can be there I can support you

right and like you know we talk we live

in a society that is a selfish society

oh yeah and you know just as sinners

were selfish people but in a marriage

you cannot be selfish you have to be

servants to each other and we hear that

so much you know my spouse didn’t

deserve this he doesn’t deserve you know

for me to do for him for you know and

like he’s you treat it like you feel

like a slave instead of like you’re

serving him yeah in a godly way you know

I’ll tell ready you know we talked about

this about about submission and you know

of course the the current liberal

mindset is oh you know there’s no way

there’s no way well that’s the number

one you don’t understand biblical

principles number two you don’t

understand that the value of submission

and it doesn’t mean that you’re weak or

you’re subservient or your second place

it takes a strong person to say I’m

going to voluntarily submit my will to

your leadership listen not everybody can

be a leader right so you know it provoke

if we’re both strong people pulling in

different directions you’re going to rip

things apart are you just not going to

go anywhere but but you know so when

people when you say that about you know

I’m there too

there to meet your needs or to serve you

or you know or like Lea’s love languages

touch you know and look I’m not a big

hugger but I know that I need to meet

her needs and and you know and and we’re

talking about like non-sexual physical

intimacy you know for guys you know give

me a high five and I’m getting a dress

hopping a bit you know guys do that let

me that’s the guy mentality you know for

your for your for your wife you know hug

and hand holes and and physical touching

that doesn’t always lead to sex so that

shows yeah I’m I’m here to meet your

needs and then that goes into the others

is the attitude and it’s just letting

your spouse know I want to be with you

you know and words are wonderful right

but actions right you know listen I want

to be with you I gotta go right you know

I’ll be with you in about three hours

where I get home what does that say this

or or a wife I’ll be with you in 18

years when the last kids only knows oh

yeah

no you’re right that’s a big one no it’s

huge and then that’s when you see a lot

of people get divorced is after their

last kid graduates from high school you

know but the strongest marriages are to

servants in love right and you know we

talked about covenant versus contract

and you know contracts 5050 and that’s

what marriage is 50/50 you know he’d

I’ll do as much as he does that means

you’re both willing to come up to a

point and stop right it’s got to be a

hundred hundred you know you got it

there’s got to be overlapping commitment

and dedication and and these these

points are showing that that your

marriage is a priority yeah and there’s

gonna be days when one of you serves

more than the other right it’s not you

not keeping score you know there’s gonna

be days when one of you sick or weeks

when one of you sick or you know if you

have long illness or things like that

well even if it’s spiritual I mean you

know I mean you know there’s an ebb and

flow in the spiritual realm and and you

know you might find yourself under a

dark spiritual cloud or under spiritual

attack you know and listen I mean the

closer you draw together we don’t want

to scare you out of out of drug being

drawn close together but you know

the closer you draw to God you know and

the closer you’re being drawn together

and that’s when Satan Satan listen let’s

not kid ourselves Satan hates marriage

he hates it

listen Adam was created and you never

heard a word about the devil right there

was no serpent there was nothing when

did he come on the scene when Eve came

on the scene why because now there’s a

marriage right

so it became the most important thing

for the for Satan to do was attacked to

wedge to disrupt that marriage

he did it then and he’s doing it now now

how do you how do you how do you close

the gap you draw close to God you stay

close to God you don’t give that that

space there’s no grace in that space

when temptations involved you know so

the devil hates marriage he’s gonna do

everything he can to destroy so you have

got to keep those priorities and the

priorities you’ve got to let your spouse

know and show you are the most important

thing on this earth and and those

priorities are and you can’t make any

bones about it it’s God it’s your spouse

it’s your kids then your church extended

family friends work and then hobbies and

interest what God’s got to be first look

put it in line everything else is gonna

flash shouts right I mean don’t don’t

worry about if you’re right at the top

everything everything’s gonna be right

no you’re right so what we want to talk

about you know just just really brief is

you’d really do I mean we say if you

want it to be important you got to make

you got to treat it like it’s important

but but you know if you do if you

practice these four walls well this

first law a priority and then the ways

to prove it you know you’re willing to

be sacrificial you’re willing to spend

the time you’re willing take sort to

energy and you’re willing to come with

the proper attitude you’re gonna your

spouse is going to fully understand

believe and trust that that it is the

priority I mean it’s really simple when

you think of I you know and you know and

like we said carve out the time that’s

why date nights and

days are so important you know take your

lunch hour with your spouse or you know

but carve out the time together away

from the kids right let’s you spend it

together and look and and the best way

to to do something with your spouse you

know if your spouse likes to hunt go

hunting with them it doesn’t matter if

you like to do it it’s not about you you

know it’s about being together

and the best way to reach him is by

meeting him where where he likes to be

yeah you know and vice versa maybe he’ll

come to me just because I like to do

them and you’ll suffer through it you

know well suffer through it because we

go to we go to a movie because I feed

him where he can actually eat at the

restaurant guys guys I’m telling you hey

you know if you want it to be important

treat it like it’s important and look it

doesn’t mean you’re you’re less of a man

because you’re willing to go to a

marriage conference not because you’re

in trouble not because you’re trying to

get brownie points because you want to

be there with your wife because you want

to celebrate the most important thing

there is on the earth listen people

they’ll backpack across country to go to

a Super Bowl right and they’re not

playing in it they’re not even

guaranteed they’re gonna get a ticket

but they will walk across the country to

go to go to the game but you won’t drive

down the street to sit in a church

service or go to a small group that

celebrates marriage right you know we

got to get our priorities straight you

know we just got a couple things we want

to ask you and the first and most

important thing is to pray over this

series we we covet your prayers you know

we want to reach as many people as we

can and want to heal as many marriages

as we can or you let God use us to help

heal marriages so we we ask for your

prayers and we want you know chances are

that you’ve know someone who’s been

divorced you’ve been divorced somebody

you know somebody who’s heading toward

divorce or maybe just just struggling in

a season difficult season of marriage

and you know I have helped him out send

them the link for this or just introduce

them to us and you know you know this

this marriage on the rock

I’m serious it’s it saved our merch and

it strengthened our marriage and in

which we believe in it we totally invest

in it this is all Bible base God

centered teaching and we’re just we’re

just fortunate enough to be able to

share it so we’re asking you to share

this with someone who needs who needs to

help who maybe just wants to strengthen

their marriage so we need your help okay

is what we’re asking share this invite

your friends invite your family churches

that may be looking for a small group or

or to do a to do a study of marriage

study or small you know of pre marriage

couples or something

we marriage on the rock is a perfect

opportunity doing an online small group

is a perfect opportunity we didn’t we

appreciate so much the time you spend

with us and in allowing us to to spend

time with you and and again prayer

requests you punch them below the links

for the books will be in the comments

below or submit your prayer requests

that are at our website right thanks

very cool so we thank you and God bless

you and thanks