Our 4 Deepests Needs: Marriage Matters.TV

Today’s episode is Our 4 Deepests Needs and comes from our Marriage On The Rock course that is available to you.

Show Transcript: unedited

hi there I’m Scott Silverii and this is

my wife Leah and we’re with marriage

matters and we welcome you to today’s

episode hi hey how’s it going well we

hope you enjoyed our first episode

mm-hm and we thank you for coming back

so today we wanted to get out we want to

start off again with a little little

housekeeping yes

and some of the items that you would

like to bring up yes so if you’re just

joining us for the first time we’re

gonna post each day’s session on our

website which is marriage matters not me

it’ll also be here on this Facebook page

which we’d love for you to like the

little button and subscribe to the

Facebook page just so that you can see

what we have to offer every with every

episode and and we’d love for you guys

to be regular viewers also the series

that we’re doing right now that we’re

leading everybody through is the

marriage on the rock series for marriage

today Jimmy Evans yes and so marriage on

the rock we’re starting at the beginning

we’re gonna go all the way through it

we’re certified facilitators of this

series so we’re really exciting to take

everybody through it it’s a great series

little star marriage and we can’t wait

to share it with you mm-hmm

very cool that’s generous did I house

clean you did a good job usually I’m the

one that cleans the house but hey you

did a good job no problem okay so we are

again we always were asking for prayer

requests you can go to our Facebook page

right here you can put your prayer

requests in the comments or you can go

to our website marriage matters dot me

and there’s a little tab that says

submit prayer requests and and those are

totally confidential or you could put

them in the comments below but we

guarantee you we assure you anytime that

you trust us with your with your

petitions that we take them serious and

that that were in absolute prayer form

so we want to start off this episode

right like we do like we do each day

with prayer and we ask that you join us

so father Moore we do we thank you for

for allowing us to be here for

in episode we you know we have the

passion we have the heart we have the

will to advocate for for marriage and

blended families and and we thank you

for for through marriage on the rock and

through the ministry of marriage today

that that you’ve given us the weight

you’ve given us the tools to help and

and we pray that as it touched us as it

as it as a saved our marriage

you know just resented our commitment

back on you and in the covenant of

marriage and and we pray that we’re able

to convey that message through the

through these shows and just to someone

that that’s uh that’s seeking that that

still has the heart that has the passion

the desire for marriage

we just doesn’t know where to turn

because they see it slipping through

their fingers so Lord we do we pray we

pray we pray in the name of your son

Jesus Christ that this message will

reach those who desperately need to hear

it so we thank you and we praise you in

Jesus Christ’s name we ask amen so and

you know and we do you know we we like

this your challenges because we like to

challenge each other and you know one of

the things that we that we challenge

we’d like to challenge you to do it is

praying together every day I mean it is

so vital that that’s you that you get

into a I don’t say routine but you get

into the life habit yeah it’s a habit of

spiritual communication and I’ll tell

you I mean it did I mean like I always

joke my I was like a rough guy and you

know not abusive just rough you know

like the roughhouse and and and

sometimes my speech was either I would

didn’t talk at all when I did it was it

was very terse and harsh and let me tell

you when we sort of pray and it changed

everything

it changed my communication it changed

the way that she reached out to me so

you know we want to throw that in there

if you’re not praying with your spouse

please start and and we’re gonna cover

that in a episode I’m praying together

and and why it is it sometimes it can be

difficult to do and speaking of Prayer a

little little plug there Lea yeah so

we’ve got 31 days of Prayer for women 31

days of prayer for men and

you can get the bundle offer from our

website and it’s on sale 23 percent off

you can get them both for $19.99 it’s a

great deal so it saves save some money

there but we prayed every prayer and

those books we prayed for the people

that are reading those so there’s some

sear them from the heart we really we

prayed over each prayer before we wrote

them and they they go with the Bible

verse and there’s also some some little

challenging questions in there for you

and some journal pages so you know we

really want you to to take notes and and

you know really dig in dig deep you know

and a lot of times and it’s no insult

you just you just don’t know where to

start

you don’t know what to say you know you

feel that you know we talked before

about you know every creation has the

desire to know the creator and sometimes

it can be overwhelming it’s like where

do I start you know and that’s what

these devotionals are it’s not because

you don’t know how to pray and you don’t

know what to say

it’s a kickstart and and or a jumpstart

and and it starts to give you the words

and you know God doesn’t want you to

stress over what you’re gonna say you

want you to speak comfortably and

confidently and and and and openly but

sometimes it’s like what do I say

yeah and that’s where these emotions

come in and they’re also you know

they’re on it they’re oh no they help

keep you on track I mean listen we can

do anything for 31 days right I mean it

may not I mean I guess it depends on

what it is but but that’s where these

devotions really come in and they’re

they’re meant to be a guide and and to

get you just started in the process and

then to move you along throughout the

throughout the 31-day period I think you

know if you’re not used to doing it it

can be uncomfortable

no you’re right when you start you know

just like when we started praying

together you know there’s there’s like

that that time you know you there’s like

a tenseness you know because it’s so

you’re so vulnerable to your spouse

during those prayer times and bit like

now you know when we don’t do it we miss

it or you can feel it listen I mean I’ll

be honest will be will be midday and and

you know I’ll fall back to my natural

inclination it should be like you didn’t

pray today or we didn’t pray today and

look immediately I mean you can feel it

you can sense it because you’re missing

out on the on that that spiritual

connection and listen and don’t believe

that there’s not a very real

supernatural realm and we and we all

live in it so speaking of challenges yes

what we’d like to again challenge you to

do is to first like as we’re going

through this series together be

committed you know if your and your

spouse are committed to God first and

then to each other your marriage can

survive anything

yep and then the second thing we want to

continue to be is be bold you know when

we talk about storming the gates of Hell

with prayer that takes boldness it takes

courage but in your boldness we ask some

of these discussions may challenge you

to talk about important issues it’s

normal to feel some resistance

especially when you’ve been hurt or

disappointed

it’s easy just to shut down don’t do it

be bold be courageous but however it’s

important to let your spouse know

exactly what’s going on in your head and

in your heart and then the third thing

is focus on what you can do so many

times you know when marriages are

struggling you keep praying for your

spouse to change and focus on what you

can change because God can work miracles

it just any time you know he can work

him in you and he could work him in your

spouse and marriage takes two people so

you know see we’ll see what you can

change in you and and you know the Bible

says that that a woman especially a

woman can change her husband’s behavior

by her behavior so let your spouse see

Christ in you well it’s you know in you

know we like to we default to Genesis on

in the creation story in the first man

and woman and there’s so much in there

you know and and and we love the you

know we love the the Hebrew translation

you know they they say that the Bible

says God created man a helper and you

know in some well that’s a that’s my

sidekick that’s my Robin that’s a Batman

and and and that is not that is not it

at all I mean there there is no

subservient position right there there

there were created to be helpers and

equals in the term azer

what

the original Hebrew term and when you

look at that it means strength and

miraculous things and rescuer and and

you know when you think of your spouse

your wife that that’s what she doesn’t

like she said through prayer I mean you

know you can literally rescue your

husband and that that was a purpose that

was the intention of that that union

that relationship like is male and

female like we’re deficient in areas yes

you know both of us are and and where

I’m deficient areas you’re strong in

them and and you fill me in those areas

and I do the same for you you know those

complement each other

and that’s what God designed it I mean

look equal is one thing but we’re not

the same right you know we were

wonderfully created and we were

wonderfully created and and and made

different for a purpose so equal yes the

same night so you know but at the end of

the day the the bottom line is is that

none of us have a perfect marriage I

mean you know we talked before about

unmet expectations and you go into and

you have a fairytale wedding and like we

said everybody looks good in a tux and

everybody’s cute in a puffy white dress

but when that’s over with and you’re

left with reality that’s when the unmet

expectations lead to disappointment

depression you know divorce I’m out of

here

so listen nobody has a perfect marriage

you know if it looks perfect there’s

moments of perfection but it’s because

you’ve got there during the imperfection

and you rolled up your sleeves and you

dug in you dug in your heels and you

absolutely refused to give in it’s easy

to quit but there’s no eternal reward

and in quitting right so and you know

enter this and the joy of marriage is

it’s learning how to become one and and

it’s growing together and that’s the key

it’s growing together and like Leah said

you know I may move in a certain

direction spiritually where she’s on a

plateau and then but it’s through our

common prayers and it’s through our

support that I help lift her then you

know and she’s ministered to me on many

occasions so that’s the beauty of that

relationship and you know talking about

those relationships and in our personal

lives and

you know and in relationships we want to

talk today about our four deepest needs

right and and you know and they’re not

what you think it’s because of you say

like free Wi-Fi cable TV sex sex and

unlimited sweet tea I mean those are bad

they may fall somewhere after but I’m

talking about the four through we off

with your with your sex what it’s

important its it mean so we’re talking

about forty police so that’s what we’re

talking about today and let me put them

up on the screen real quick so talk you

know in a in a biblical sense in a

spiritual sense these are all humans

like I said every creation has a desire

to know the creator and and in this

desire these are the four needs their

acceptance identity security and purpose

and we’d like to we’d like to go over

we’d like to go over these as they apply

in a marriage model in a marriage

relationship yes so acceptance Romans

8:35 through 39 says I’m loved accepted

for who I am and I think that’s one of

the the biggest things you know there’s

no there’s no hiding in marriage you

know I mean after that wedding day I

mean you’re gonna see the worst of your

spouse and you’re gonna see the best of

your spouse and you’re gonna see every

everything in between and for your your

spouse there can’t be any fear or

reluctance you know to share who they

really are just with fear of them not

being accepted for that you know I mean

it’s not like you roll out of bed the

morning after the wedding and you see

see you who you really married right and

then be like alright I’m out of here you

know I mean which happens yeah which

happens I mean they may not physically

cut out that first day but emotionally

spiritually they’re going you know and

actually uh Dave and Ashley Willis have

a book and uh and he talks about being

naked right yeah and you know physically

naked spiritually naked and and and that

is it’s so important that that we come

before you know before God number one

and a naked posture get back to Adam and

Eve they were they were naked

when did they cover their nakedness when

they said when they separated themselves

from them and then they realized oh

we’re naked in a physical sense but more

in a spiritual you know transparency

sense and we’re talking make it as far

as vulnerability I mean it’s gonna be

make it in front of your spouse – yes

make it in all aspects that’s what I’m

talk

spiritually naked clothes someone’s you

got you got sex on your bar which is all

right I listen God created sex that’s

why I created man and woman you know to

compliment you like men hear the word

make it and like they’re all tuning in

right now excited but we’re talking

about vulnerability people listen if it

gets more men to watch this make it make

it make it make it make it make it make

it make it okay if that’s what it takes

to get men to watch the tune in we get

naked tell you why oh my gosh we’re

gonna get banned okay the next thing is

identity listen we all desire to know

who we are and and you know and it’s one

of look I mean you know some some people

probably else included you know you go

on an entire journey to find yourself

right I’ve got to find myself and you

know when you leave that marriage how

many times do you tell you you know I’ve

just got to find myself I’ve got to

discover myself listen you’re never

gonna discover who you really are

outside of Christ

you know God talks about when you when

you come into the kingdom and and he

talks about you know you’ll be given a

white stone and in Revelations and and

on that stone is your is your true

name’s your true identity

and listen we find that in Christ and so

you know we’ve talked to before about

you know when Leah and I came together

when we met you know we both had

high-profile careers and and we talked

about carrying luggage you know and and

we both had beautiful suitcases and

beautiful luggage it was shiny and and

mine had the Big Joe versus the volcano

stickers on it and you know it said

chief of police and PhD in and an

accomplishment and this and I did and

Leah’s you know had you know

best-selling author and

and you know classically trained

musician and and you know and all these

earthly accolades that we thought were

important and at some when we that was

our identity right I mean that’s who we

I looked at her and I thought oh wow you

know best-selling author a classically

trained musician great single mom Bob

LaVon and she’s looking at me and that’s

our identity we complemented each other

not on a spiritual no in a social but on

a social and secular place right now

what the world saw right you know and

then you opened our suitcases up and it

was nothing but garbage no yeah and

unfortunately you know we’ve been

married about a year when we reluctantly

unzipped our suitcases to each other and

revealed that there was dirty laundry

inside of those suitcases

just like a lot of people so when we

came to each other we didn’t come in

sincerity and and openness about our

identity and you know and it’s it’s

natural I mean I hate to say that but

but it is I mean nobody you know can you

imagine a first date you know look I’ve

got these problems now some people do

and it’s like you know but as you

develop your relationship and of course

through Christ and you know we talked

about that too where if you know God’s

got to be the top because if you put

your spouse up in a you know in a in a

deity position a demigod position then

your spouse can no longer step down from

that from that false man out and you put

them on to come to any position of of

confession right so you’re doing a

disservice by by um by putting them in

that position right and you know and you

know our minister is geared toward

remarriage people who are remarried and

blended families and the truth is the

older you get and the more you know you

start looking into remarriage the less

reluctant you are to share your identity

no no because of past hurts and and you

know whatever happened in a previous

marriage and things like that so well

yeah you know a big part is the when you

look at remarriage you look at it as you

get to hit that that big reset button

right you know and

and that’s your hope you like messed up

the first I’m not gonna do it this time

so I’m gonna hit the reset button and

when you when you you know the fantasy

is when you reset everything goes away

it everything’s new again but let me

tell you the only time everything is new

you become a new creation is in Jesus

Christ you can’t manipulate your now you

could try you can hide things and you

could not tell and you can share but

like in our situation you know we were

we were very very close immediately and

we stayed close and we’re still close

and and but it was because we had that

we had that reliance on God that we knew

that we could unzip those suitcases we

can reveal the dirty laundry and you

know the beauty of it is through through

confession and through repentance and

through restoration and recovery we were

able to launder our garments and then

and then not put them back on our own

suitcases we put them into our one into

our marriage case right and and you know

had we just hit the reset but it’s like

throwing dirty clothes in the dryer

right nothing’s gonna happen you can

only put so many balance sheets in there

so that’s where identity comes in and

it’s so important you have to know who

you are in Christ and and then in your

marriage and your in your relationship

and you think of all the years wasted

you know no I think about what what age

I was before I finally had that secure

that that identity in Christ you know

and you know you could have saved a lot

of heartache you know of course with

that out daddy comes the Knicks yeah

security is the next thing and then

Psalms 9 says I am safe and secure from

harm and I think for women this is the

biggie ya know a woman’s biggest need is

security

I know it’s my biggest need and it’s I

want to know that I’m in a safe and

loving home that my husband loves me and

that then my my family is gonna be whole

I’m not gonna have to worry that you’re

gonna walk out the door I’m not gonna

have to worry that that you’re gonna you

know lead us like I look to you for

leadership you know

and your leadership is for providing

that security right yeah

it is it’s important I mean you know

like you know I always go back to my

days in law enforcement and and you know

we we had things that helped promote

security ballistic vests and SWAT a

ballistic helmet that the weapons and

all the intelligence and things like

that in and you know in those in those

riskiest situations people oh my gosh

how did you do that you know well

because there was a sense of security

you know but those came through

protection Kevlar bulletproof things but

but listen I mean my number one sense of

security was always my faith in Christ

that I knew who was gonna carry me

through and then you know when you and

you look at those in your real life and

it’s you know first again it’s your

faith in Christ that provides that

security listen you can you can be the

biggest baddest toughest person on the

planet there’s always somebody bigger

badder tougher you know so so that’s not

your sense of security that’s gonna wane

with age and and maybe injury and stuff

but when you when you bring it to a

marital situation you know you can’t

tough your way through you know I don’t

want to talk about it

it’s my prime well I’m gonna keep it

quiet that doesn’t do it your security

comes through your vulnerability and

through your through your openness and

your honesty and and through your

nakedness let’s get the guys back in

Boston okay so security is very

important and listen and and it I’m

gonna tell you it took me a while as the

the head of the household you know and

those roles are very well defined by God

you know God is the head of our marriage

and and I’m the head of the household

and and Leah you know submits to me and

we’ll talk about submission but you know

and not at all some people get all what

you mean about submission we talk you

know listen that’s right we’re talking

biblical submission it takes someone of

strength to be able to to willingly say

I submit myself to your leadership you

know now because of that submission it

is my duty to provide security to

provide good leadership to be versed in

the word and to be prayerful you know

there’s times where I’m like you want to

pray no you’re the head of the house

you pray if she’s right it is my duty to

provide you and the kids with that

security and security comes in ways it’s

it’s praying together it’s being

prayerful it’s knowing without a doubt

where where my heart is where my

commitment is where our dedication is so

so those do and you know and I noticed

that after we went through that first

year of showing luggage and and dirty

laundry that and I knew that there was a

lot of moments of insecurity like and

you would say before I wanted to bring

this up I didn’t know if you know I

didn’t know how you’re gonna react I

didn’t know if you’re gonna walk out the

door listen there was times when I

didn’t know what I was gonna say or if I

was gonna walk out of the door so that’s

where security comes from that and and

and I could see the difference in our

relationship when you became like I you

know I tell her something like don’t get

too cocky you know I’m joking it she’s

like why not you know I’m sure you’re

not going anywhere I know you love me

that’s group that’s a great security so

you know even though I was joking with

her but hey don’t get too cocky you know

she’s like well yeah I am I deserve to

be you know and it’s like you know you

talk about like the submission and it’s

not that you know if I have an opinion

on something or if I strongly believe

something or if God has given me a word

on something and it’s different than his

he listens you know and the same you

know it’s like we it’s not like we’re

not equal still then that we’re equal I

can be submissive I can be a submissive

wife and and be submissive to God into

you and still be your equal right you

know no I mean listen we you know we’ve

had it many a times where where we’ll be

in prayer and and you know just I know

one number one time where you know just

fell into this desperation and I mean it

was it was darkness and and immediately

late like Lea just she jumps in and she

enters seeds on my behalf she’s like hey

God’s telling me this for you and

immediately you know I was like oh my

gosh I mean I hear God’s voice coming

through my wife and and it’s because she

was my my helper my rescuer she did

miraculous things as my helper and and

you know that’s another point in of glad

you made it is you know God talks about

weight you know you know agreeance

amongst two or three

believers and and if we want to do

something we usually argue over supper

where we’re gonna go but that’s I don’t

think that’s a biblical issue right but

it is important for you and your wife to

to agree on everything because you know

and if I step out and she’s like Scott a

spiritually I don’t feel it I don’t care

listen I’ve already doomed whatever that

decision is to failure and so if we

cannot agree

we either we either don’t do it or are

you seek counsel and and it can be no

divisive miss know they can another

can’t so you know it is listen it is

better to walk away from a decision

where you’re both split then than it is

to move forward because you’ve set it up

for failure you know so that is

important and then then of course the

first the fourth of our most deepest

needs is purpose and you know God that

God tells us in Jeremiah I have a

significant purpose and there’s a reason

for my life and I mean how many people

you know on the brink of suicide and and

self-destruction you know I’ve just

that’s their that’s their the darkest

moments or their life they just don’t

know what their purpose is how many time

why am I here right why am I here

you know and and it is it’s really a

time of despair when you look at the

miraculous wonder that you are that you

were birth that you we laugh all the

totally

it’s amazing anybody survives to

adulthood right with all the really

stuff man

with all the crazy stuff kids do but you

know what because God does have a

purpose he has a plan not to harm you

you know but but to prosper you and to

grow you yeah and you do you have a very

specific plan and God’s got a purpose

for you but you know what you’re not

going to understand that purpose I sit

and watching TV all day or hanging out

at the bars at night or running around

with all your PUD nas and or running

around on your spouse if you want to

know God’s purpose you got to go to God

you know and you know it’s like trying

to get the football score by watching

basketball it doesn’t make any sense

you want to know that you plug in you

tune in you stay clinched and tight

until you get that purpose well you know

and like

you know yesterday’s episode we were

talking about the woman at the well yeah

and you know you look at God’s purpose

and there’s so many like in in prayer

people turn to prayer as a last measure

as desperation your life and but but God

has a purpose for everyone you know and

we talked about that deep-seated desire

to know God and that’s built into

everyone and and you know you look at

who he used to do miraculous things to

bring people to Christ like the woman at

the well you know well I mean the

unclean the sinners that you know I mean

it’s about David all day yeah I mean you

know everybody

you start looking you’re like oh my gosh

you mean he did this and that and and

and Moses did that and well but you’re

right I mean that’s who he uses so we

all we all have a purpose it’s whether

or not you want to pursue that purpose

or you want to flee from it right you

know but listen if you flee from God’s

will in your life your people at home

and so you know that what was me worries

me what was me my marriage is bad and my

second marriage was bad and my third

marriage is bad and you know what my

fourth marriage is good what is wrong

with women right it’s not women it’s you

right you know you were not pursuing

God’s purpose in your life and maybe the

purpose that you just shouldn’t be

married you know but you’re never going

to understand the purpose for your life

as long as you flee from guy well and

being stagnant and your purpose is to me

like this you might as well be fleeing

you know to stay in the same place and

not pursue know I’ve been forward you

know that’s been our word or maybe our

word of last year was was keep going

yeah just go just go no avoiding it’s

not winning and God’s very clear you

know he does not he has no use for the

lukewarm if you’re cold and never knew

God it’s it’s it’s not your fault you

know and if you know God you know to be

fought on fire for Christ but those who

know God and choose like you said to be

stagnant he’s got no purpose he’s got no

use for the lukewarm and and so you’re

right if you’re not pursuing your

purpose then you’re you’re lukewarm

right so we want to touch back on base

is

we talked about it before and you know

your personal relationship with God is

the most important aspect of your

marriage your personal relationship and

you know the next thing is to remember

that only Jesus can meet your deepest

needs excuse me

so you know again we would caution folks

about you know he completes me you’re my

soul mate you know I mean we understand

that that’s a cliche term and it’s an

endearment term but when you really

start talking about you’re my soul mate

and you complete me you start to step

into a realm of idolatry where you place

your spouse equal to or above God

because listen note I love you and you

can be christ-like but you will never be

Jesus Christ and for me too to put that

burden on you I’ve set you up for

failure and I’m gonna be disappointed in

you and and then that leads to right

unmet expectations right and that leads

to divorce you know in me and I just our

purpose very clear I mean nowhere in the

bible does it say use the word soulmate

does it talk about soulmates we don’t

believe in soulmates you know because

it’s not a thing and you know I was

watching a great video the other day

about that the idea of having just one

person and the entire universe meant for

you that’s not true love is a choice

right no that’s you know it takes work

you’re not just going to magically enter

someone’s presents and touch hands and

right and now you become one as soul

mates you know I mean you’re but it

feels that way that’s the chemical

reaction you know as you’re okay you’re

leading into marriage and the wedding

day and and the honeymoon phase however

long that lasts

but the day to day you know that’s a

choice ya know this love at love is a

choice and that’s dealing with people oh

I fell out of love well then you chose

to fell out of love our fall out of love

you know or I don’t love him anymore you

chose not to love them anyway you can

reignite your passion

yeah to pursue and we’re gonna talk

about that in another episode but but we

want to ask you you know deep really

want you to think through

these these these for needs we’re

talking about acceptance identity

security and purpose which of these are

most important to you where is it

lacking in your life in your spiritual

walk in your marriage you know so so

when we gave you those challenges about

being committed being focused being bold

you know think think through these and

identify these are your most core basic

needs that everybody desires and if

they’re lacking things you you should

you should pray through about them and

pray over them and see you know I can

tell you our first year of marriage I

can answer I mean you know

Liat Leah’s where she was lacking was

security she had no security where I was

concerned you know you know why because

I had no identity and and who I truly

was in Christ you know and then when

that came together you know then the

acceptance and then we discovered our

purpose and then they became complete

but listen it didn’t come easy right it

didn’t come easy at all she was

difficult to deal with I had to throw

that one in there so listen make no

bones about it guys only Jesus can meet

your four most basic needs she can’t do

it she can’t do it you can help you can

support you can pray you can facilitate

but you cannot provide like fully for

those four needs right not a spiritual

sense no and if that’s what you expect

from me I’m just gonna disappoint you

right yeah and the same thing you know

you would disappoint me if I expected

that from you know and and you know we

just want to if we want to start to wrap

it up right yeah is can you be married

without God in your marriage people do

it every day they do you know I mean

unless we you know I mean you’re gonna

get the naysayers and they’re like we’ve

been married 50 years we don’t pray we

don’t listen that and you know what all

you’re doing is collecting days and

collecting anniversaries you were

missing out on the true meaning of

marriage I mean God created merit God

created marriage he created marriage to

mirror the relationship that he has with

us listen all through the Bible you know

it starts off

with with Adam and Eve with the creation

story the very first marriage

you know Jesus’s first miracle everybody

knows this I don’t know why you know

water in a wine you know like it like

he’s got some place up in Sonoma

you know that’s everybody’s favorites

you know everybody knows you know

oh Jesus turned water into wine that was

his first miracle

why was what was the significance of

that marriage it was at a marriage

celebration and then the Bible at the it

ends and revelations the last book in

the Bible with the marriage supper so if

you don’t think marriage was created by

and important to God you’re wrong you’re

wrong he wants us to marry he wants us

to be in the same relationship he has

with us we talk about the cry of Christ

and in the bride is the church so that’s

used all throughout the Bible that is

the model of the way we communicate with

him and he wants us to communicate with

with each other right so any

relationship you know what that you know

50 years of marriage with Christ versus

without you know you reach that 50-year

milestone and you look at the legacy of

your children and grandchildren and

their marriage and conversation you know

and you know like you look at the

blessing that you’ve bestowed just

because you chose to put God in your

marriage oh yeah you know on generations

you know and that’s a great topic I mean

we man you keep coming up with all kind

of good ideas but uh but you know we do

we talk about freedom from your past and

breaking the chains of past sins and and

generational curses slain and and that

is we’ve we’ve experienced over the last

year those freedoms and that realization

but that that’s a great point but you’re

right you know throw a 500 base Christ

centered marriage you do you leave a

legacy it’s not just you eating cake

when your 50th anniversary you know a

bible-based a god centered marriage is

it’s not just celebrating a day on a

calendar that you’ve seen 50 times it is

it is your right it is your children and

grandchildren and great is the legacy

that you leave um it’s incredible

so speaking of leave

it’s time to head out it is so before we

go I corrected I corrected this this uh

this screen from the last episode prayer

was not the first one so it is listen

that’s what we asked we asked you to

pray over this series this is so

important we feel like they got us led

us to this but we know it is not going

to be successful without your prayer and

you know we mentioned yesterday I’m

sorry we mentioned the last episode that

you know there’s a couple there’s

somebody who needs to see this who needs

to hear this you know you may be

watching it and oh that’s a good point

that’s interesting but it but it doesn’t

affect your soul deep there’s somebody

out there right now that needs to hear

God’s Word and and they need to hear it

in this in this episode and so we’re

praying that you will have the

confidence the boldness to focus the

commitment to pray over this series that

is successful yes

and then if y’all went please like

comment and share on Facebook yes

anybody that you know we know that I

can’t think of one person that doesn’t

know somebody who you know it has has

struggled at some time in their marriage

has been divorced is heading toward

divorce you know so just give a give a

share to I’m on Facebook and put us in

their path and and I know that’s a good

point you know hopefully we can save

some marriages yeah Melissa I mean

talking talking to someone you love

it’s tough you know when it’s maybe it’s

your child or or maybe it’s a sister of

sibling or our family member it doesn’t

matter who right it’s tough to talk

about divorce it’s tough to to try to

have the right like what do I say

you know a lot of times we don’t do it

because we really don’t know what to say

you know share this with them and then

you’re kind of off the hook right you’ve

done your duty your spiritual obligation

and it’s like hey I want you to watch

this let them let them jam it up you

know

so we do what we’re so we’re so you know

listen had we had somebody to tell us

years ago even after we first got

married about the realities of

recovering from divorce and and and

remarriage that it’s not that magic

reset button and blending families is

not as easy as you kiddies get along man

there’s it’s tough and we wish somebody

had been there to tell us and we know

this is why God’s put us in your path to

share with you so so we do we ask you to

like and share and comment and and we

want to know what you think we’re know

how you feel you know and look I’ll tell

you I love the algorithms and all the

science behind social media and I

mentioned it before like if you just hit

like it doesn’t if the rankings go down

but if you hit the little heart love

like I love mugs love monks it’ll it’ll

actually it’ll help this video get

pushed up in the rankings back so more

people see it so what I’m asking is we

like the lights but we love the laws so

hit the lows and put your prayer

requests in the comments yeah definitely

do that listen invite your friends

invite your family with churches you

know a lot of small churches they’re

always looking for for small group

materials or they’re looking for

marriage classes and and they don’t have

the resources to do it at the time and

and listen through marriage on the rock

oh we have that that resource we even

have it online but but leading an online

small group is absolutely fantastic you

get to do it on your own time and the

privacy of your own home so so you know

we do we you know if you have a church

or your leader looking for something and

then you know we ask you access go to

our website marriage matters got me I

love that man Oh dot mean like when did

Emmy become like the thing right I don’t

know I don’t know maybe I don’t know dot

me maybe it stands for something maybe

so huh I don’t know we’ll think about it

later so we do we ask you to go there

and there’s a tab and it’s marriage on

the rock it is it is free and it is it

is you know it’s based on marriage

today’s marriage on the rock marriage

certification course and and it’s our

gift to you also right next to there is

the Simba’s tab yes if you’re

going if you’re getting married or know

someone getting married or get married

or remarried is big this is this is an

assessment tool by dr. les and Leslie

parrot and we’re certified facilitators

listen it has been used by millions of

people – it’s an it’s a personality

assessment and it’s an it’s a readiness

assessment and you know listen stop just

going into marriage blind think beyond

the poufy dress in the tuxedo right I

mean put some thoughts some effort some

inventory into what you’re gonna do yeah

I mean the hard questions hard questions

about finances about how you discipline

children how many children you want

I mean questions that people oftentimes

so talk about before they get married

and then they find out the answers after

and it leads to divorce yeah

you’re not gonna bout that so we do we

just ask you you know you go to our

website marriage matters that meet and

you’ve got it’s called divorce proofing

which is marriage on the rock listen to

100 100 percent guarantee that your

marriage is gonna last you do it God’s

Way and in marriage on the rock leads

you through God’s weight and and then of

course sinless is a great assessment

tool and and we and our facilitators so

you know either take the test and then

you kind of work through the weeds or we

can work with you in an online

environment to help unpack those

assessments and and then you know other

than that

we have some free resources – oh yeah

yeah no no we do very cool stuff for you

we want we do we want to encourage you

to pick up our 31 Day of Prayer and it’s

on our website as well that we’re in a

bundle it’s a special package and you

know leading up to Valentine’s Day I

mean everybody’s like what do I get or

what do I get him I don’t know what

better than prayer yeah a couple prayer

so um we do thank you and we thanks for

for joining us for this episode and

we’ll see you next time so we are we’re

praying for you we thank God for this

opportunity to to speak with you and and

to communicate with you and we and we do

we look forward to hearing from you in

your comments or in your prayer requests

so we thank you and god bless you thanks

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